I Kidnapped Willie Nelson

by Jack Shields

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lyrics

Well i'd used up all my favors
Pestered all my friends
Had no one left to torture with my shitty songs again

So I Kidnapped Willie Nelson
At an Austin honky tonk
Laid him out with an Epiphone and I stuffed him in my trunk

Yea I kidnapped Willie Nelson
So he’d listen to my song
Didn't mean to hurt him but he should have sang along

Yea I kidnapped Willie Nelson
Guess he’s got bad luck
Never shoulda told me that my masterpiece did suck

We’ll we stayed up all night drinking
I played the song on loop
Poked him with a cattle prod but he wouldn't change his tune

So I raised my hand to strike a blow
That’d really make him ring
When all to my astonishment the man began to sing

Yea I kidnapped Willie Nelson
And he listened to my song
He must have really liked it cuz he danced and sang along

Yea I kidnapped Willie Nelson
What a thing to steal
Says If i release him he will give me a record deal

Who knew an old mans femur
Would be my lucky break
I’ll say he heard my song one day and things just up and changed
I’ll buy myself a pardon
And he’ll sign an NDA
So i get paid

Well the sun began to rear its head
And we’d smoked up all the tree
So I asked him for some last advice before I set him free

He said son your tune it ain’t half bad
But the words are kinda dumb
Quit tryna be a cowboy you ain't foolin anyone

Yea I strangled Willie Nelson
Cuz he criticized my song
Shame he went and blew it man I thought we’d get along

Yea I strangled Willie Nelson
Good things never last
Wrapped him up and tossed him down the well with Johnny Cash
Johnny Cash

credits

released June 4, 2021

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Jack Shields Nashville, Tennessee

Rock

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